So, I've been thinking right, all this kindness business has been swimming laps in my mind of late. I've read many, many articles on how kindness can not only have psychological benefits on oneself, but can also positively impact ones health, as many ailments can be adversely effected or even triggered by stress.
http://link.springer.com/article/10.1023%2FA%3A1018700829825?LI=true#page-2
http://www.mindful.org/mindfulness-practice/compassion-and-loving-kindness/intentional-acts-of-kindness
Stress can be both negative and positive:
Positive Stressors.
An upcoming wedding.
A new job
A new house
A new baby
A promotion
Negative Stressors.
Not getting enough sleep of a night
A job interview
A disagreement with a loved one
An illness in the family/yourself
Stress is within us all, but I have found, I combat stress by understanding what the stressors are and finding a solution that best suits the issue.
It took me to become quite physically ill to understand the above statement. Through years of childhood stress, adolescent stress into adult stress, I realized that I carried it all with me, only adding it to the pile of already pushed aside issues.
Sound familiar?
What does stress have to do with kindness?
I only speak from my own experiences. In my own life stressors have been and still are mostly positive and only a handful of negative. Take my current life situation, the stressors and the effects. When I feel overwhelmed by one situation or a series of uncontrollable events, I take a moment, pause and with loving-kindness think it through. The stress subsides and clarity is unveiled, I can deal with what is in front of me. The kinder I am, the less unhinged I feel.
It came to the point that although I was smiling on the outside and having a laff, the built up stress was taking it's toll on my wee body. Don't get me wrong, I was happy... Just exhausted on the inside.
I've always managed (as part of who I am naturally I guess) to look on the bright side of life (cue Monty Python montage), however internally feel shaken and stressed to a certain extent.
I discovered the wonderful world of yoga and meditation only this year. To me, it makes sense. To be at one with yourself, your body.
Don't worry, I'm not getting all new-age on you. Quite simply, I now get it.... I think....
Loving-kindness.... Our emotions are shaped by our hearts, we almost automatically follow our well trodden emotional path when faced with issues within ourselves, with the people we know, to the ones we will never know (ie the man/woman who cuts you off dangerously in traffic).
When faced with a stressful work situation just over twelve months ago, where a co-worker behaved aggressively towards a career decision I had made, I was faced with a situation in which I felt stunned, somewhat confused and and extremely saddened by the reaction.
"Kill it with kindness!" exclaimed Bron, a friend of mine, when I voiced my concerns to her with my co-workers behaviour.
"Kill it with kindness." Quite the statement. It made little sense to me at the time, however, kindly, I carried on, delightfully chirping my salutations and whims towards my annoyed colleague. All the while feeling uneasy with the continued unrest from said party.
Only now, do I truly understand Bron's statement. Not only should *I* be kind, I should send my kind thoughts to all around me.
This (kindly) brings me to a wee social experiment... For myself.
The rules are as follows:
* I am to perform one or more random acts of kindness every day for the next four days
* The random acts can be large or small, I don't have to save an entire family from a house fire (although that would be amazing!) but a simple act can benefit someone elses day... simple.
* At the end of each day, I will note down each act and document how I feel using the following scale
| Excited | 6 |
| Happy | 5 |
| At Ease | 4 |
| Meh | 3 |
| A wee frazzled | 2 |
| Overwhelmed | 1 |
* By the end of the week I will have a better idea of whether performing these random acts of kindness benefit not only the recipient, but my true self and the domino effect
it could potentially have on all those around me... After all, kindness is contagious..
This is merely a self evaluation, not to feel good about myself, nay, but to just, well.... feel good!
Wish me luck!
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