Strangely (and cliche-ingly) I have come to understand myself a smidge more. I know that I am not perfect. I understand that it takes a lot of work and concentration to be kind twenty four hours a day. (Enter emotionally exhausted smiley face here).
There were times where I was quite hard on myself for not being this almighty kind human being. Every. Minute. Of. Every. Waking. Hour. So much as I fear I was becoming somewhat of a kindness martyr (gasp!).
Pull back kind human!
Striving to become an individual who has nothing but love for all is a damn hard gig.
Again, not perfect. I slipped. I found myself falling back into old 'narky' habits of negativity and despair for those who do not fit my mold of thoughtfulness, mindfulness, empathy and love, yaddah, yaddah, yaddah.
I have learnt that as individuals we all (mostly) make quite a lovely planet to live on. I (with my head in the clouds) yearn to trust that we all desire life happiness, in whichever configuration it presents itself. It's the confusing road we choose to take with the hope that our GPS isn't on the blink, that ultimately (in my opinion) will bring us to the our ultimate sub-conscience goal.
I think. I hope.
I observe however, the sadness, desperation of those others who do not exist in an environment of happiness, peace and calm. Those who strive for blessedness, however struggle through a life of warfare, famine, homelessness, helplessness. Battling to comprehend the 'whys' and 'hows' of such atrocities. Such questions I have discovered (frustratingly) at times, have no answers.
My partner and I often discuss the ridiculous pantomime of a silly little planet we exist on. The humans all playing their roles, some knowing their lines, others relying on the help of a carefully placed director all the while believing that the narrator will 'get it right' to ensure the production is flawless, a success. I am learning to not assume that this amateur performance will 'go off without a hitch'. There will be mistakes, actors will 'freeze', forget lines, some will dance out of time, the narrator will become distracted, it's what the production does as a whole does in the face of a hiccup that creates the success!
Deep huh?
Was the 'Kill It With Kindness Challenge' a success?
Yes. Fundamentally, I have arrived at the realization that I am an imperfect, over-analyzingly, kind human, which is quite the head wobble conclusion. Choosing actions based on benevolence and understanding wasn't a huge stretch for me. This whole life business is in fact, a 'journey' (there, I said it).
All in all I am a 4 out of 6!
| Excited | 6 |
| Happy | 5 |
| At Ease | 4 |
| Meh | 3 |
| A wee frazzled | 2 |
| Overwhelmed | 1 |
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